Godly Profiles
by rawr52
Summary: The gods have got facebook! Hope this lifts your mood!
1. Zeus and Hera

**Godly Profiles**

**Yes, I did steal the format from redlily188 but the mind-blowing wittiness is all mine :D No owning.**

**-Zeus-**

**Current location: **Mount Olympus

**Occupation: **King God/Lord of the Sky/Very bad uncle

**Favourite quotations: **"POSEIDON!"

"Humph."

"Pah!"

**People who inspire Zeus: **Nobody

**Favourite books: **_A Beginner's Guide to Gardening: Turning Children into Trees and much, much more, How to Deal with your Daddy Issues, The Basics of Cooking: Turning Titans into Shish-Kebab, Anger Management: Blowing up Buildings and Demolishing Nephews_

**Activities: **Killing my nephews, arguing with my brothers, banishing people to Tartarus, chopping up my daddy, making random storms, stringing lovers, being a grumpy sod

**About Zeus: **I am NOT paranoid, I am merely cautious. For my enemies: Grr, fear my wrath!

**Interested in: **_For the general public: _Women. _If Hera is reading this:_ Only one woman – my doting wife – so everyone else back off xx

**Interests: **The mirror, my wife, pine trees, being paranoid

**Relationship status: **"Happily" Married

...

**-Hera-**

**Current location: **Mount Olympus

**Occupation: **Goddess of Love and Marriage/Queen of Heaven/Secret Family Betrayer

**Favourite quotations: **"Water under the bridge, my dear."

**People who inspire Hera: **Zeus, Donna Reed

**Favourite books: **_How to Dispose of Ugly Children, Motherhood for Dummies, Fixing a Broken Marriage, The Art of Being Two-Faced: Volume One, _

**Activities: **Being two-faced, Loving my husband, Judging my children, Fulfilling the housewife stereotype.

**About Hera: **I just LOVE my family! It's okay that Zeus has another child, I forgive him, because I'm just that kind of person! I love all my children equally, looks don't matter to me

**Interested in: **Men

**Interests: **Cleaning the kitchen, smiling dotingly at my children, being motherly, my husband.

**Relationship status: **Married

**Yay, that was fun to right! I hope this made you smile!**

**-Rory x**


	2. Poseidon and Hades

**OMGOMGOMG! All the reviews I got! Squee!**

**-Poseidon-**

**Current location: **Underwater palace

**Occupation:** Lord of the Sea/Coolest Olympian

**Favourite quotations: **"The sea does not like to be restrained."

"PERCY JACKSON!"

"That's me. Ancient history."

"And _you_, Percy, are my favourite son."

"_WHO DARES – Percy."_

"Good day for fishing."

**People who inspire Poseidon: **Sally Jackson, Percy Jackson

**Favourite books: **_101 Ways to Annoy your Brother, Being Bipolar: It's easy, How to Get the Twinkliest Eyes: An Advanced Guide, How to Handle Awkward Situations: Erms and Ums and much, much more, How to Deal with your Daddy Issues_

**Activities: **Having sparkly eyes, annoying my brother/king, having random mood swings, making hurricanes, tsunamis and typhoons, picking favourites, stringing lovers, making monster babies, polishing my trident.

**About Poseidon: **My son is so cool, he just radiates coolness. I want to be just like him when I grow up.

**Interested in: **Women/Monster women

**Interests: **Loving my sons, making awkward introductions, having skulls dedicated to me, irritating Zeus, being Athena's rival, the sea

**Relationship status: **Married

...

**-Hades-**

**Current location: **The Underworld

**Occupation: **God of Death/Creep

**Favourite quotations: **"Destroy them!"

"You were a TERRIBLE father."

**People who inspire Hades: **The dead

**Favourite books: **_How to Deal with your Daddy Issues, A Beginner's Guide to Oily Hair, How to Grow Traitorous Pomegranates, 101 Ways to be a Grouchy Sod, Anger Management: Cursing innocents and Killing Nephews, How to Make Children Feel Worthless_

**Activities: **Comparing my son to his dead sister, arguing with my brothers, talking to dead people, setting blood-thirsty monsters after relatives, stringing lovers

**About Hades: **I see dead people.

**Interested in: **Women

**Interests: **Tricking women into marrying me, growing irresistible pomegranates, arguing with Demeter, brooding

**Relationship status: **Married

**So? You like? Special contest: Because I don't know who I should write about next, you guys decide :D The person who leaves the awesomest review decides who I write about in the next update. Yay!**

**-Rory x**


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